Berlusconi to have a planet named after him

Mr Berlusconi

The beleaguered Italian prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi is to have a planet named after him, according to reports emerging from the Reuters news agency.

The article suggests that plans to honour the premiere-come-playboy have been under wraps for sometime, with several other alternative proposals, including carving an effigy of his head into ‘well-known’ mountain, being scrapped.  In a time of such austerity, the decision was taken to go with the planet option because it could be done on a relatively modest budget but still offer huge prestige.

The cable also claims it was hoped that a new planet close enough to be seen with the naked eye would be discovered fit for this purpose, but the organisers, becoming jittery that Mr Berlusconi was on the verge of uncovering their big surprise, opted for an already familiar planet – Jupiter.

Planet Berlusconi

The announcement will come as a welcome relief from the daily ‘Eurozone tittle tattle’ which Berlusconi has found himself so caught up in during recent weeks.   A source close to him revealed he is ‘delighted, quite over the moon…, planets orbiting the Earth have always been named after Roman gods, and so this is a fitting gesture’.

The move will be seen by some as controversial, no more so than by the people of Greece, who will feel their man, George Papandreou, who has also had a tough time at the hands of his European counterparts, deserves serious recognition too.  It is thought likely that wheels will now be in motion to find a planet for the Greek PM, with bookies odds-on favourite being the second biggest planet in our Solar System, Saturn.

The new names would be made official in time for the departure of these two top dogs from office, both of whom are expected to resign in the next couple of weeks to concentrate more of their time on star-gazing.

How our Solar System will look:
Mercury – Venus – Earth – Mars – Berlusconi – Papandreou – Uranus – Neptune – Pluto